After the initial shock that I was pregnant again wore off we had several hurdles to overcome. On top of having several medications and even a shot to take daily I also had the added worry of miscarrying again. Not just because it had happened the last time, but because it was threatening us this time as well. My routine became very redundant and dare I say a little boring. I started each morning with a PIO shot in the behind. On the lucky days my husband was home to administer them, on my not so lucky days the sweetest neighbor came over everyday to administer it for me. I was too scared to do it myself. Then I did an estrogen pill, iron, synthroid, and metformin throughout the day. By bed time I was exhausted and I had to do a progesterone suppository and then immediately go lay down. I wasn’t allowed to do much out of my bed and the week or so before my morning sickness set in I was not amused. I was grateful to have an excuse to be lazy once the sickness started, and boy did it start. I lived in bed and only got out of the house when I had to go to my RE’s office twice a week. My husband was gone most of my first trimester so it was pretty rough not having him or any family around. Luckily I was blessed with awesome friends who were kind enough to help me out when I needed it. And I survived. Mostly on grilled cheese from sonic, but I survived. I lost almost 15 pounds and literally the only thing that made my nausea a little more bearable was sipping on fountain cokes. I mean you gotta do what you gotta do right?
Just a week and a couple days after my first trimester ended we made an appointment to have a gender scan. I went back and forth with thinking it was a boy or girl. Most of the time I told myself it was a boy. I remember the day like it was yesterday. My hubby couldn’t get off work to go so I went alone. I was so nervous the whole way there. I was finally going to find out if I was going to be mama to a little boy or girl. I laid down in the chair and as I’m telling the tech that I think it’s a boy she said “No honey, it’s a girl!” And there she was. In that moment, I knew that I had known who she was all along. I knew her name was Finley and I knew she was perfect.My husband, if you remember, was at work. I got an outfit and put it in a bag so I could surprise him with it when he got home. He ended up having to work super late and I couldn’t hold it in any longer and I called him to tell him! I seriously wanted to shout off the rooftops that I was having a little girl but I had told my whole family that I wasn’t finding out the gender till the next week because I had planned a surprise for them to find out at church that Sunday with a cake baked by my sweet friend back home.
Hardest. week. of. my. life.
Once both of our families were notified of the gender we did gender reveal photos to send out and post for everyone else. It was so much fun even though we already knew she was a girl.
It was so hard to not go out and buy her everything in the world. I wanted to go shopping so badly. I resisted, mostly.
I really hope you are enjoying the sharing of my heart. It’s not always easy to tell the world how you felt, what you went through, your hurdles, fears, hopes, dreams… I share that some may find hope in their fertility journey. Be sure to check back next week to hear all about my second and third trimesters.
XOXO – Taylar